


Feeling vs. Forcing

by st_mick



Series: Niffler [17]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Torchwood
Genre: Letting the big kitty run, M/M, New ways of relating to one's magic, Panic Attacks, ground rules, remembering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 09:16:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18568399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/st_mick/pseuds/st_mick
Summary: Ianto and Jack continue to rest and recuperate at Hogwarts.  As Ianto's memory returns, he and Jack have a frank discussion regarding their future.  Once they emerge from their seclusion, Ianto's friends begin assessing his magical abilities, and helping him to relearn how to handle his magic, now that it resides in his body differently.





	Feeling vs. Forcing

_Ianto was having a_ lovely _dream, with Jack pleasuring him so skillfully he wasn’t certain he could last much longer.  “Jack,” he moaned, tangling his hand in that mop of silky hair…_

Jack grinned around the very nice obstruction in his mouth and lubed a second finger.  It was immensely gratifying that even in Ianto’s dreams, it was Jack who was making him moan so lustily.  He wondered if he could bring Ianto off before his young lover awoke, and then convince him it had been a dream.

Not likely, with saliva coating his cock and a rather alarming amount of lube in his arse, but hey, it was an amusing little fantasy, nonetheless.

He began scissoring his fingers, debating about adding another.  He swirled his tongue around the head of Ianto’s cock and gave in to the temptation.

It was the third finger that finally wrested Ianto from sleep.  “Jack?” he asked sleepily as he propped himself up on his elbows to watch his lover look at him with mischief before taking a deep breath, relaxing his throat, and swallowing Ianto whole.  Ianto moaned loudly as his hips bucked forward and his head flopped back onto the mattress.

Jack gripped Ianto by the hip to try to steady him and hummed his pleasure that his lover was finally awake.  Jack realized how close Ianto was when his entire frame convulsed at the sensation.  He smiled as he pulled almost entirely off of Ianto’s cock, sucking on the head as he swirled his tongue into the slit and continued to fuck him with his fingers. 

When he saw Ianto grab a fistful of bedding in one hand and felt the other hand flex in his hair – Ianto was trying not to grab onto Jack’s hair and force the moment – Jack suddenly had a very great desire to make the younger man lose that last bit of control.  He plunged back down onto Ianto’s cock again, listening to another lusty cry as he nuzzled the soft patch of fur at the base with his nose. 

Ianto’s entire body was quaking, and Jack knew he had him.  He looked up to see lust-blown eyes watching him and he moaned at the sight.  Ianto’s head dropped back again as he cried out, once more.  Jack swallowed, feeling Ianto reach the edge.  He spread his fingers and brushed one gently over Ianto’s prostate, and pulled up as his lover screamed through his orgasm.  Jack swallowed everything down eagerly, continuing to suck and thrust his fingers until Ianto became too sensitive for him to continue.

He released Ianto’s cock with a satisfied smile and pulled his fingers out.  Ianto was gasping for breath as Jack reached for the lube.  The wizard’s body was still trembling as Jack climbed toward him, slowly brushing his chest and torso against his lover’s sensitive, still half-hard cock as he made his way up to face him. 

The fact that Ianto was still half-hard after such an intense orgasm had Jack wondering.  He briefly speculated as to what gifts the vortex may have given Ianto.  By virtue of the fact that he was a young man in his twenties, his refractory rate was quite splendid already, but Jack wondered if it would come to resemble his own, which could be as little as a very few minutes, depending on the motivation at hand.  Or cock, as it were…

He kissed Ianto deeply as he pressed into his lover’s still-trembling body, relishing the gasp and moan that he swallowed.  Once he was completely seated in Ianto’s body, Jack pulled back, resting on his elbows and looking down at him.  “Gods and goddesses, you are beautiful,” he marveled, smiling.

Ianto’s only response was to wrap his legs around Jack’s and try to pull him further in.  Jack refrained from rolling his eyes.  Ianto did not see his own beauty, and it baffled Jack.

“It’s true, Ianto,” he said, his voice low and filled with desire.  He slowly pulled almost all the way out and, just as slowly, pressed back in.  Ianto moaned decadently, and Jack would have been willing to swear that the sound made him even harder.  “You are one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen,” he kissed Ianto. 

The younger man whimpered as Jack continued the maddeningly slow pace.  Jack felt him grow hard again between their bellies and arched his back to provide some friction as he kept moving.

“You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful person I’ve ever fucked,” he kissed Ianto again, and the passion of the kiss belied the slow pace.  He realized that either the pace or his words were having a profound effect, and Ianto was not going to last long, at this rate.  He grinned, but as he watched that beloved face show just how affected he was, he paused.

Jack’s heart turned over in his chest as he realized what was happening.  The day before, something wild and desperate deep within Ianto’s nature had stepped forward to claim Jack as his own.  Now, something gentle and tender within Jack’s nature was stepping forward, and it was not going to be denied.  Jack felt a surge of such love and tenderness that he thought he might be overcome with emotion, but – as usual – Ianto grounded him. 

“Jack?” he asked, having observed the change that had come over his lover.  He reached up and caressed the beloved face.  He had never seen such an emotional look on Jack’s face, and he hesitated.

Jack kissed him again.  “And I just realized,” he added, his voice ragged.  “You are the most beautiful person I have ever made love to.”

He felt a slight pang, but it was only right.  Ianto was, it turned out, the love of his life.  His dear Anna and dearest Estelle would not begrudge him thinking that Ianto was just the slightest bit more beautiful than them. 

Ianto went still, for a moment.  That’s what this was, wasn’t it?  It wasn’t their usual, pretty damned spectacular sex.  It wasn’t shagging.  And it wasn’t the flat out fucking that they occasionally indulged in.  This was different.  And Ianto felt as though his entire _being_ had just ignited.  In the next moment, memories from the other evening in the hub bloomed, filling in all of the gaps that Ianto hadn’t even realized had been blank.

He remembered the dance.

He remembered the promise.

He remembered _everything_.

“Jack?” he asked breathlessly.

“Ianto?” Jack marveled at the ardor blazing in Ianto’s expression.

“Is there something you’ve been wanting to say to me?” Ianto began moving again.  Jack’s gentle lovemaking was carrying his body higher and higher.  He wanted – desperately needed – more, but he was not going to demand it.  Not now.  He was going to allow Jack to take him where they needed to go, and he knew that it would be all the more spectacular, if he just trusted Jack to get him there.

Jack pushed all the way into Ianto and arched his back, allowing his belly to put pressure on the younger man’s cock, causing him to moan.  He rocked his hips back and forth and gave a soft, tender smile that Ianto was sure very few had ever witnessed.  “I love you, Ianto.”

Ianto sucked in a breath, having had no idea that hearing the words would affect him as they had.  It felt as though his entire body had become a live wire.  “Jack,” he whispered.

“Ianto?”

“Say it again.”

Jack’s heart turned over again at the desperate hope in Ianto’s face.  “I love you.”

Ianto gasped, and Jack couldn’t tell if it was the sex or the emotion, but he had a feeling it was something of both.  “Again,” he begged.

“I love you.”  Jack ran a hand through Ianto’s hair as the other reached back to hitch Ianto’s leg up over his flank, giving him a better angle.

“Again,” he sobbed.

“I love you.”  Jack watched as his words and his body caused Ianto to come completely undone.

“Jack!”

Ianto’s body was coiling, and Jack knew it wouldn’t take much more to send him over the edge.  He was already riding that line, himself, and Ianto’s reaction to his words was bringing him closer and closer.  He leaned down and licked the tears that were tracking towards Ianto’s ear.  Ianto mewled at the sensation of Jack’s tongue along the tender skin between his sideburn and his ear.  Jack kissed his way to Ianto’s earlobe and, giving it a nip, he whispered, “You’re mine, now, Ianto.”

“Yes!” Ianto’s body bowed off of the bed as he came, long and hard.  The intensity of it brought Jack off, with equal force.  Jack’s cries blended with Ianto’s, and he saw stars.  In a moment of slight madness, he briefly wondered if he and Ianto were seeing the same constellations.  He collapsed on top of Ianto, who was now completely wrapped around him, holding onto him tightly with arms and legs, his face buried in the crook of Jack’s neck.

As Jack came back to himself, he nuzzled at Ianto until he could catch hold of the wizard’s mouth.  They kissed for some moments, until Jack felt Ianto’s trembling.  “Hey,” he leaned back, smiling.  “You all right?”

Ianto looked overcome.  He nodded slowly.

Jack found he had limited mobility within Ianto’s embrace, but he knew better than to try to loosen it, at the moment.  “You believe me, then?” he asked hesitantly, all of his own insecurities bared.

Ianto’s chin wobbled.  It would have been adorable, except for how it wrenched Jack’s heart.  He nodded again, a radiant smile resolving from the tumult of emotion crossing his face.

“You remember,” Jack grinned.

Jack was still half-hard and buried deep inside his lover as the younger man pulled him even closer.  “I remember everything, Jack,” he whispered. 

“My Love,” Jack replied, feeling elation battle relief for supremacy as Ianto wrapped himself around Jack so tightly that he could not shift.  “Hey,” his only freedom of movement was now in turning his head to kiss the side of Ianto’s.  The younger man had buried his face in Jack’s neck again and was holding onto him with all of his strength.  “Hey,” Jack whispered again, gently.  “What is it?”

Ianto’s only response was to hold Jack tighter.  Which Jack would never complain about, except for the minor issue of needing to breathe.  It took some minutes, but he was able to eventually extricate himself from his lover’s limbs, and then his body.  As he did so, he made sure to keep up a constant litany of loving nonsense to reassure Ianto (and, truth be told, himself), and to keep his body in close contact with Ianto’s.  But despite his best efforts, he could see that Ianto was headed hard for another panic attack.

Jack reached for the booster phial on the bedside table, only to crack his hand on some sort of force field.  He pressed against it and realized that Ianto had somehow erected a shield charm around the bed.  “Ianto?” he said, pressing the weight of his body back onto the younger man’s and feeling the limbs wrap around him, again.  “My Love, I need to reach the bedside table.  Can you expand the shield?”

“The…?” Ianto pulled back from where he had been trying to burrow into Jack’s neck and looked around.  He was shaken to realize he had cast a shield charm without meaning to.  He released the charm and his face crumpled.  “I’m sorry,” he rasped.

“Hey, none of that,” Jack whispered.  He was disconcerted that his declaration of love would panic Ianto, but he knew he needed to hold it together, to help him.  “Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

Ianto pulled Jack even closer.  Jack could feel him trembling.  He reached for the phial again, and this time was able to wrap his hand around it.  Finally, Ianto spoke, though his voice was so soft that Jack almost missed it.  “Please don’t leave me.”

“Hey,” Jack pulled away and gently nudged Ianto’s chin up so he would look at him.  “I’m not going anywhere, Kitten.”

“Kitten?” Ianto spluttered. “Really, Jack?”

Jack huffed out a laugh, pleased he’d been able to shock Ianto out of his panic, at least enough to get him to drink the potion. 

“What makes you think I could possibly want to be anywhere else?” Jack smiled.

Ianto was still trembling.  “Thousands of years, Jack.  I know we won’t be together that whole time.  And I can’t bear to think of losing you.  I’ve lost so much, I can’t…” he rolled towards the other side of the bed and sat up, rubbing his face.  “Sorry.  I’m being an idiot.”

“No,” Jack crawled behind Ianto and wrapped around him.  “You understand the gravity of what our life will be.  That’s a good thing, Love.  And sure, we may spend time apart, eventually.”  He kissed Ianto and held him closer.  “A long time in the future, that may happen.  But we’re bound to one another, my Love.  We’ll never stay apart, for long.

It broke Jack’s heart that Ianto’s first thought, upon receiving confirmation of their love, was of losing Jack.  But he knew he could reassure Ianto, particularly now that the younger man remembered everything.

“Hey, what’s important, in this moment, is that I love you, and you love me.  Yeah?”  Jack kissed Ianto’s neck and felt the tension begin to drain from his lover’s body.

“You’re right, Jack.  I just…  I never thought,” he closed his eyes and rested his head against Jack’s neck.

“You never thought you’d hear me say it?” Jack whispered, regretting once more his selfish delusion that holding back would be less painful.  He sighed.  “Or you never thought I would actually return your love?”

“Doesn’t matter, now.  Because you love me, and you’ve told me so,” Ianto sighed, but Jack heard the smile in his voice.  “Sorted.”

Jack chuckled.  “I’m sorry I hurt you, though.”

“Well, that just means you get to make it up to me,” Ianto smiled against Jack’s neck, kissing it.

They sat like that for a few moments, Jack holding Ianto as the potion began to take effect.  Jack thought Ianto had drifted off when he said, “We’ll need ground rules.”

“You mean, other than confirming our safe words?” Jack quipped.

Ianto didn’t laugh.  “I don’t care if it’s decades from now, or centuries.  If we ever separate, we need ground rules.”

“Fair enough,” Jack replied.  He knew that Ianto wasn’t afraid of being with him.  He was afraid of losing him.  It honored and humbled him, this love.  “Rule number one: we’ll always know how to find one another.”

Ianto nodded.  “Rule number two: we never just run off.  We always know where we stand.”

Jack winced, realizing that Ianto had run so far down this road because of all of the pain Jack had already caused him.  He kissed Ianto’s temple.  “Rule number three: we never go more than…  How long, do you think?  …before seeing one another again, just to check in.”

Ianto hummed.  “A decade?”

Jack was impressed by the maturity Ianto was showing.  “Sounds reasonable.”

“Sounds like a bloody long time,” Ianto huffed, and Jack smiled, kissing him.

“Swear it?”

“I swear on my magic, Jack.”

“I swear on my vortex, Ianto.”

Ianto curled back into him.  “But please don’t leave me,” he whispered, still trembling.

“I’m right where I want to be, Love,” Jack promised, kissing his lover.  He remembered what Luna had said about all of Ianto’s insecurities playing up, right now.  But then, he didn’t want to think about the day they’d choose to separate, either.  Not today, when they were finally together. 

“You must think I’m mad,” Ianto muttered, annoyed with himself.

“Not at all.  You had something good, and you lost it.  So the idea of having something good again can be terrifying – make you afraid you’ll lose it, again.  Added to that,” Jack hesitated.

“What?”

“You’re still working off the last bits of that fatalism.  It’s almost gone, but not quite.  Makes sense that such an opportunistic old bugbear would come at you, now.”

“That has been better, but you’re right.  And I feel so off balance, right now.  Like my center of gravity has shifted.”

“Well, it has, hasn’t it?” Jack asked.

“I suppose.  It’s more solid, more stable, but it still feels strange.”

“Do you still feel like you’re coming out of your skin?”

Ianto shrugged.  “A bit.  But that’s not as bad as two days ago, even.”

They held one another as they drifted off again, to be awakened a few hours later by Draco.  Jack handed the healer the empty yellow phial and explained that there had been two panic attacks – one and a half, really – and that Ianto had remembered everything that had happened.  They all agreed that another day of rest and seclusion would be a good idea.

The next day had Ianto feeling more secure, and he helped hold Jack steady as another wave of grief swept over him.  They spent the day talking and loving and sleeping.

On their fifth day at Hogwarts, they finally emerged from the guest room.  They had breakfast at the teachers’ table with Neville and Professor McGonagall.  Once they had eaten, they went to Professor McGonagall’s classroom, where she cleared the desks and conjured thick rugs and many cushions.  Neville, Hagrid, Draco, and Madame Pomfrey were the only ones present, this first day.

Jack sat on a comfy cushion beside Ianto as Professor McGonagall, Draco, and Poppy Pomfrey all took turns asking Ianto questions.  It began with simple assessment questions as Draco and Madame Pomfrey both cast diagnostic spells. 

“Have you cast any more spells without your wand?” Professor McGonagall asked.

Ianto nodded, looking sheepish.  “I cast a shield charm without meaning to during a… well, sort of a panic attack,” he hesitated.  “I made it go away again, but that was on purpose.”  He hesitated.  “And I conjured a flannel.”  He avoided Jack’s eye and managed to keep from blushing.

Professor McGonagall suppressed a smile.  “Was the flannel intentional?”

Ianto frowned, then nodded.

“All right, then.  I think first we’ll check your animagus.  Or I suppose I should say animagi.  Then we’ll check your magic, with your wand.”

Ianto found that he could easily shift to, and hold, each animagus form.  The wampus cat was definitely more intense, but he was able to hold it without difficulty.  It was exhilarating!  The cougar was a quieter, more peaceful experience – like a comfortable pair of pyjamas.  Both forms were stable, with none of the discomfort of the past.

They became sidetracked when Ianto shifted back to the wampus cat and bolted from the classroom.

“Mr. Jones, what are you doing?” Professor McGonagall called after the rapidly retreating streak of grey fur.

Jack laughed and ran after him.  “Don’t tell me you didn’t take your animagus out for a spin, the first time you changed.”

They made their way out onto the grounds, watching the huge cat gallop around the castle.  Hagrid laughed and told Neville to conjure a bucket, which Draco then filled with water.  After running flat out for a quarter hour, Ianto ran up to them and plunged is head into the bucket, much to their amusement.  Jack was surprised when he found himself flat on his back, his face being licked by the animagus.  Then, Ianto unceremoniously flopped down onto him.

“Kitten…” Jack choked.  “Can’t… breathe…”

Ianto cracked open an eye and transfigured to his cougar form, giving Jack another lick and flopping back down with a purr.  Jack laughed and scratched Ianto’s ears as he rested.

Within minutes, he was off and running again, this time as the cougar.  When he circled back, he slowed to a lope, then a walk.  Neville and Hagrid had helped Jack to his feet, but the older man found himself on his back again with an armful of blue-eyed cougar licking his face.  He flopped onto Jack’s chest again in an impression of a hug before rolling off.

By the time he landed on his back, he was human again, laughing as Jack followed, tickling him.  When they finally settled down and caught their breath, Ianto looked around.  “That was bloody _fun_!” he exclaimed, looking his own age.

Jack smiled.  He’d only seen Ianto looking so young and carefree that week leading up to the quidditch match, and the day of, naturally.  His smile faded as he was forcibly struck that this young wizard was many years his junior. 

Why the hell was he even giving Jack the time of day?

_Because I love you._

Surprised, Jack turned and saw the golden light swirling in the depths of Ianto’s eyes.  “Eavesdropping?”

“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” Ianto frowned.  “You stopped smiling,” Ianto shrugged, sitting up beside him.

“That was a bit more than legilimency,” Jack observed.

“Objections?”

“None,” Jack grinned and threw an arm around Ianto’s shoulders, pulling him close.  _And I love you, too._

Ianto shivered, returning Jack’s grin.

“What’s happening?” Neville looked puzzled.  Hagrid looked confused.  Madame Pomfrey looked curious.  Draco looked speculative.  Professor McGonagall looked like her patience was wearing thin. 

Ianto blew out a breath, and Jack said, “So, how prevalent is telepathy in the wizarding community?”

Professor McGonagall’s eyebrows shot up.  “Not very,” she replied.  She looked at Ianto.  “I suppose the next thing to check is whether this is a new ability, or to do with your bond with Jack.”

Jack had a feeling it was the latter, and this was confirmed as Ianto tried unsuccessfully to communicate with each of the others.  By the time he’d tried with each of them, he looked as though he had the beginnings of a headache, from the effort.  He looked at Jack.  _It wasn’t a fluke, was it?_

Jack grinned and shook his head.

Ianto’s face cleared.  Speaking to Jack in this way was effortless.  “Well, I guess that answers that question,” he huffed.  He looked to Madame Pomfrey.  “Got anything for a headache?”

After a headache potion and lunch, they returned to the classroom.

“How about your patronus?” Neville asked, curious.

“Perhaps we should start with something a bit simpler,” Professor McGonagall suggested.  “Mr. Jones is used to putting forth a great deal of effort for his spells.  I believe that he will have to get used to using a more subtle expenditure of power.  The same effort he is used to expending could lead to some rather explosive results, depending on the spell, so we shall step softly.”

Her point was proved as Ianto attempted a simple _wingardium leviosa_ spell.  The pillow hit the ceiling with enough force to explode, covering them all in feathers.  It took an hour, several dozen pillows, and a great deal of Welsh cursing before he got the hang of it.  But as always, Ianto was best with a light touch, so once he got a feel for the subtlety, he was able to adapt it to other spells.

As the dinner hour was approaching, Professor McGonagall circled back to the first spell.  “I would like to see you try it, without your wand,” she said, handing him a pillow as she took his wand from his hand.  She saw him frown in concentration and quickly added, “Remember, it’s about feeling for the magic.  Look for the subtlety rather than trying to force something.  The wand is merely a focus for your magic.  It is helpful, and for most, it is vital.  But for some, it is unnecessary, if there is a discipline of mind and a focus of intention.  You have been gifted with both, Mr. Jones.”

Ianto looked at her, frowning.  She continued, “Think of when your magic flows most freely.  It may be a spell with your wand, or flying with your broom.  Both are merely tools for focusing your magic, but it comes most naturally when you’re not concentrating, but rather allowing the magic to follow your intention.”  She gave him an amused grin.  “I am confident that you do not have to _concentrate_ when you fly, Mr. Jones.  You don’t think your way through the air, you feel it.  Yes?”

A grin spread across Ianto’s face as he nodded.  He looked at the pillow as he reached inside, feeling his magic flowing through him as he had never felt it, before.  It was beautiful and pure and safe and _home_ and he thought it felt an awful lot like his love for Jack.  He shoved that comparison aside for a moment, then did as Professor McGonagall instructed and focused his intention.  He let go of the pillow as he _felt_ the spell, and it floated gently before them.

“Oh, well done, Mr. Jones,” Professor McGonagall beamed.

“It’s like all ‘is troubles, before, actually prepared ‘im for this,” Hagrid said, his voice low.

“It does seem rather fortuitous,” Professor McGonagall agreed.  “His lack of control until now forced him to be very disciplined and focused, to be able to force his magic to do his bidding.  Now…” she smiled.  “Now it’s the collaboration it was meant to be.”

***

They stayed another two weeks, falling into an easy routine.  Mornings found Ianto, usually accompanied by Jack, being tested and challenged by various members of the Order.  Hermione and Harry accompanied Kingsley on several occasions.  But for the most part, Draco and Professor McGonagall took the lead.  It was a gentle re-learning of old lessons, but from the perspective of Ianto accessing his magic with a quiet grace, rather than having to chase after it and wrangle it to do his bidding.

After lunch together, Jack would carry himself off, craving solitude.  Ianto would then spend his afternoons practicing.  His focus became grounding his new skillset, allowing muscle memory to develop as he became accustomed to feeling his magic rather than forcing it.  Given his natural intuitive ability, he quickly became far more adept than he had ever been with his more limited access to magic, before.

Professor McGonagall marveled.  One afternoon, Jack came upon her having tea with Kingsley Shacklebolt.  Jack listened for a few moments, wanting to hear what they had to say.  “I’ve never seen anything like it, Kingsley.  In terms of raw power…” she hesitated to say.  “Well, I’ve only known one other wizard…” she trailed off again, mourning once more the loss of her friend.  Albus would have been a great mentor to Ianto.  She was not sure she was up to the task, but she would do her best.

“And he will have centuries to master it,” Kingsley said.  “More than ever, I am thankful that Ianto Jones is a good, kind-hearted man.”

“He will be greatly feared, if word of our assessment gets out.”

“It will not.  I have destroyed all written evidence.  Anything that might be whispered would be a mere rumor.  And his friends will protect him, as will his position in Torchwood.”

“You do not fear his corruption?”

Kingsley chuckled.  “He has already been corrupted, and is a better man, for it.  No.  I could not have chosen a better witch or wizard to be burdened with such power.”  She nodded her agreement, and he shrugged.  “Except Luna, perhaps.”

She chuckled, then turned thoughtful.  “It’s as though he’d been spellbound, up until now.”

“Well, in a manner of speaking, he was,” Kingsley replied.  “Though by unfortunate circumstances rather than magic.”

“Repeated assaults, you mean,” she said, looking disgusted.

“It is unfortunate, but he is a good man, precisely because of his tribulations,” Kingsley pointed out.  “And it is his vulnerability, his sensitivity that shows a strong heart not likely to be swayed to the dark.”

Her silence showed her displeasure at having to concede his point.

“It is mind-boggling,” she mused.  “That much power…  Had he come up normally, he could very well have burned up, once he hit puberty.”

Kingsley hummed in agreement.  “And it would have been ugly.  That much power, combined with teenage hormones and his issues with authority?  He would have died in Azkaban.”

Jack shuddered.  But he could not disagree.  He knew his lover well enough to realize that had Ianto had full access to his own magic during the angry years of his youth, he could easily have been turned dark, simply from the allure of the power that, once tasted, he would not have been able to resist.  Ianto had a very strong moral compass, but at an impressionable time, it could have been twisted by someone who knew how to manipulate the disenfranchised. 

“No,” a soft voice interrupted the conversation.  Ianto stepped forward and joined them at the table.  “I would have died fighting anyone trying to get me to Azkaban.”  He looked from one to the other and shrugged.  “I know the turning points in my own life, well enough.  As it is, it’s just as well…”  He shut his eyes, painful memories dancing across his visage.  “Gods and goddesses, it’s a hell of a thing, to be thankful me tad almost killed me when I was four.”

Jack stepped into the room and drew Ianto into his arms.  “You don’t have to be thankful for it, Love.  But to accept that everything that has happened to you has brought you to this moment… it’s a powerful choice.”

Ianto nodded, and then he chose to accept. 

He calmed, quickly enough.  He found that the emotional turbulence that had accompanied the changes his magic had undergone were easier to weather in Jack’s presence.  He hated leaning so heavily on the older man, but Jack loved being able to support him.

***

Most afternoons, Jack and Ianto returned to their rooms for tea and rest, though rest generally came only after a bout of rigorous activity.  The students had become accustomed to their presence at the faculty table, and they almost always joined the teachers for dinner, though they usually kept to themselves, in the evenings. 

Time slowed down during those weeks, and they both took full advantage, finding their new equilibrium and healing.  It was three full weeks before they returned to Cardiff, rested and ready to resume their duties at Torchwood.

***

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, my goodness! This one took *ages* to come out, but now that it's here, I'm hoping the next two will be quicker. There are at least two more ideas - Journey's End and CoE. They may be more than two parts, but we'll see. There's also a prequel that slammed its way out of my brain - the aftermath of Lisa's demise...
> 
> Let me know what you think. If kudos are catnip, then comments are crack! :D
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


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